Oh, the nostalgia.

So I have come full circle with blogging, and am still obsessed, but now am a Tumblr addict. My link (if anyone ever reads this) is llizabell.tumblr.com.

Also, as I randomly signed in to Blogspot in hopes of finding an old poem that I wrote, I just really started to get freaked out. The last time I wrote was March 2011. That really wasn't that long ago, but the abundance of events that have happened in my life, and how drastically distant my life then feels from my life now blows my mind.

I have added two new best friends to my bunch of amazing people that I'm surrounded by. As Thanksgiving was just last week, I keep getting swept off my feet with thankfulness when I think about the people in my life. Although balancing old friends and new ones can feel like a constant struggle, the fact, in the first place, that I even have to worry about that is a sign of how greatly I am blessed and is nothing to complain about at all.

I always feel a sense of passion and deep thought as the holidays approach. Not a sadness, just a kind of nostalgia. I'm a senior now, and am almost half way through with the school year. How strange it is to think that in not long at all, my life will be taking such violent twists and turns of change. My life now will most likely feel like a distant memory just the same.

I'm so not ready to say goodbye to people that I feel like I've finally connected with. I recently shared a conversation with my brother, and he was saying how family and maybe a few friends are all you really have after having been in college for 3 years. I found that quite unsettling. I don't want to have to pick who I'll stay close to. I don't want to leave. Not just yet.

As far as how my life is going, I suppose it's pretty nice. With Christmastime just around the corner, I'm already feeling the excitement and coziness of the season. As I said before, I adore my friends. Classes are just whatever, nowhere near the hell of Calculus. I have a huge senior project that I should be getting started on and a thousand college application essays still to do. Love life, as always, is confusing. I am, as always, a mix of hopeful and pessimistic (or some other word that I can't find in my vocabulary for how I'm feeling). I'm scared to get attached to things right before I leave. But I have decided that fear for what the future brings, even if it may be hurt and not fun feelings, is nothing to be consumed by or to let control your decisions.

I wish to let go of deciding, and choosing, and worrying, and picking, and endings. All things that are quickly approaching me. I wish to just soak in these last few moments of normalcy and home, and let things take me where they may.