I've had such the refreshing night-- I love how He can do that to me. He refreshes and quenches my every desire and need, yet makes me so deeply want more, so thirsty for more of His peace that I am so unworthy of but need more than the very air I'm breathing. I fell in love with so much Scripture tonight, and was reminded of how deep and beautiful the Word is. His love letters to me are so personal, and even though I can't wrap my head around 99% of what's there, He reveals Himself through things I can't even begin to comprehend. I am absolutely awestruck at His grace for me, but also am shocked at how misunderstood God is in our world today. The more I read, the more I am overwhelmed with how much wisdom and truth I find. Ephesians 2:1-6

"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions- it is by grace you have been saved."

Everyone, EVERYONE, is so sinful, selfish, and unworthy by nature. We are all filthy insignificant beings by ourselves. To God's scale, nothing we can do, say, or try to be can earn us salvation or could ever be good enough to achieve righteousness. But because of the love He has shown for us, because of what He did on the cross, we are reconciled with our Creator- reunited with the One who chases after us day after day and finds value in us, beauty in our ashes. For even when we were the farthest away from God, stuck in the nastiness of this hateful, judgmental, world, He "made us alive with Christ." It is by grace that God has renewed us and continues renewing me tonight. I am so in awe of His greatness.

I feel like I just need to stop trying, stop being something that I am not, stop trying to do be so "good." By gratitude, thankfulness, and praise only should I should serve and do good works, not to earn something in return from God. Ephesians 2:8-10 goes on to say, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Grace is God's unconditional, "no matter what," undeserved gift to me.

I'll stop preaching.
Sincerely,
Liz.